You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
