i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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