I'm lost and stupid without you.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
