So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
