i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
