i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
