shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
