he puts the penis in happiness.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
