At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
