So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
