I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
