Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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