billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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