i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
