oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
