but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
