Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
