All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
