When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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