There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My life is pants optional.
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