I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
