I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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