I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
