the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
