sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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