i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
