how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
