Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
