remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
