i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
