so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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