My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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