If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
