i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize