There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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