He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
