I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
