i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
