Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
