So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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