Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
