He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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