I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
