i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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