3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
