She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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