I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
