it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
