lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
