Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
