Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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